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Sunday, June 30, 2002
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 Nice 'n' Sleazy does it ...
I came across the much talked about – well, amongst The Twelve - Peaches the other week. She was the improbable support for Suede. I was only vaguely aware of her cannon before the gig - I knew she'd help me 'Fuck the Pain Away' but I wasn't sure how. Oh, and now, dear reader I know how. Imagine PJ Harvey - before her recent lushed out period - prowling around a stage in a bikini declaiming furious raps over MC5 cut-ups. Every now and then the radio mic was thrust down her bikini bottoms for some vigorous bumpin'n'grindin' and more disgust poured forth. It was a mesmerising performance - in between swigging from a bottle of red wine and ingesting fake blood - to vomit it up later - more raps. She finally departed the stage mumbling over the backing track. This was "keepin' it real" at a frightening intensity. It's difficult to see where Peaches goes from here - we've all seen the artists who have romanticised the low life to further their career but Peaches seems to be using it as an escape from some fucked up reality. Go girl!!
Talking of boho-slummers here are Suede back in town for the first time in three years. I can hear the shouts of derision already. Not very Apostles is it? Well no, I seem to be alone amongst The Twelve on this one. Which is a pity because Suede are that rare thing a band who articulate the incomparable pain of being young, white, middle-class and from a commuter town. I don't think another band has captured the oblique misery of waiting for a connecting service at Hayward's Heath in the rain. There was always a lot of asphalt in early Suede songs. It seems churlish to even mention that the new stuff doesn't come up to scratch, but that would ignore the one shining gem of a song 'Simon'. Possibly the first pop song to name check the anti-asthma drug Ventolin, it was written for a film that hasn't been released here yet - CS Leigh's Far From China.
If you must know they played a tight set, old and new and at times they reminded me of why I ever bother with this music nonsense. I don't think they will ever return to their former majesty but when I hear 'Simon' I'm transported from the here and now to the banks of the Mekong, watching the sunset with a beer. Not quite Hayward's Heath, but progress of sorts.
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| [posted in Lancashire :: UK at 20:54] |
Some People Just Can't Be Happy
The 12 recently sent a few polite emails to selected individuals worldwide and have had a range of replies.
Our favourite so far is the following. Honestly we don't want your money !
fuck off you greedy, grasping offensive little shits
We shall try to make this individual happy and hopefully in doing so will make him unhappier. |
| [posted in Bondi :: Sydney at 08:52] |
Saturday, June 29, 2002
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New Apostle Correspondents
For those of you who read us regularly you'll note that we now have two new correspondents one in Manhattan and the other on the frontline in Stockwell, London.
Bow & Bondi Apostles welcome our new correspondents to the fold and await more of their wit and wisdom. The 12 Apostles now have over 100 years of rock'n'roll experience between them and are your leading guides into the murky world of music and religious reporting.
We welcome more correspondents to the fold. It costs you nothing and we pay you nothing. Only through the truth shall you find love. We will though, send you a couple of 12 Apostles t-shirts and some of badly made compilation CD's. If you live in the following places or anywhere else for that matter do contact us.
San Francisco
Los Angeles
Glasgow
Tokyo
Singapore
Bangkok
Mumbai
Kingston ( Jamaica or Surrey we don't care)
Beijing
Lhasa
Amsterdam
Moscow
Stockholm
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| [posted in Bondi :: Sydney at 06:52] |
Condolences - Boris The Spider
The 12 would just like to pass our condolences to John Entwistle's family, friends and other band members of the Who.
We remember him for his invisibility, absolute rock bass and some rather poor solo albums. All in all a perfect rock star.
The 12 would also like to commiserate with him on having died in such an unfortunate environment. Like all other balanced humans we would have preferred that his last moments were spent on the English estate rather than the ultimate commercialization of rock, the dreaded Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas.
OK I admit it. I've been there and played the Sid Vicious poker machines but to be so unfortunate to breathe your last in one of their rooms is really unfair, especially if you happen to be a member of one of the great bands of rock.
The 12 request that anybody who knew or repected John Entwistle demand immediately of the owners of the Hard Rock hotel a contract that denies them any possibility of making money from his demise on their premises. Otherwise the next thing we know his deathbed will be nailed to the wall somewhere, the room in which he died will be turned into a ghoulish shrine visited by sickos and to top it off there'll be endless bass guitar flower tributes everywhere.
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| [posted in Bondi :: Sydney at 06:41] |
Thursday, June 27, 2002
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Fade to gaiety
Those of you who live lives as described in Wallpaper may have bumped into us last week. Our collective were amongst the throng at the latest Fischerspooner 'happening'. Fischerspooner - in case you didn't know, like where have you been? - don't have gigs they have stage shows and happenings.
Actually, the older Apostle's amongst you would recognise the 'happenings' as nothing more than that denigrated art form 'the Guest PA' last witnessed at Luton nightclubs, circa 1982. Yes Fischerspooner burst upon us an under rehearsed Hot Gossip miming to their own tinny remakes of Visage tracks. As their one semi-hit Emerge, erm, emerged to be accompanied by air-hostess like figures drinking flutes of champagne it was difficult not to surmise that this is a hideous New Romantic revival and only wonder how long it will take for the country to realise that Beckman's crop isn't anything more than an elaborate homage to Limahl.
So far, so terrible, but there is more to their gambit than the eye candy.
What makes Fischerspooner, almost, lovable is their ability to hijack large sums of money from gullible coked-up record company execs. Also they're fun. We had jokes between songs! Who cannot but warm to a lead artiste who strips down to his sequined jock-strap but leaves his socks on! Revealing his rather portly midriff declaring "Do you not like my buff?!" After the ponderous crushing boredom of much of the post-Rock scene it's quite a change to be entertained. And looking at the crowd maybe they're on to
something - this Apostle hadn't seen such an interestingly dressed gathering in years.
If you can get past the music Fischerspooner could be great. We may have seen the future. And you know what, it smirks.
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| [posted in Lancashire :: UK at 16:16] |
Tuesday, June 25, 2002
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They came, they saw and yes indeed they did viciously conquer New York last week. The Hives' records don't prepare you for what's about to happen as the mixture of perfect punk pop and theatrical posturing of mad front man Pelle Almqvist brings an instant smile to the face that doesn't go away until the music stops. Pretty Pelle acts like he's some sort of god but he had the infamously elitist Bowery Ballroom crowd eating out of his hand as he dished out cliché after rock n roll cliché. But his boys have the music to back him up so who cares.
The self-proclaimed "rural hicks from Sweden" got one over on fellow hyped-up five piece The Strokes by playing an even shorter set than the 45 minutes the hometown darlings performed last time out. But there were no complaints and it's doubtful if either band or audience could have taken any more such was the intensity of the occasion. As with The Strokes, the hype for now is justified so go check out The Hives soon as it's unclear whether the unique experience they offer will translate to the inevitable bigger venues that beckon.
And while New York Apostle didn't get the opportunity to offer The Hives a 12 Apostles t-shirt, Scottish pop guru Alan McGee was spotted checking out the fine red garb while supping post-gig drinks downstairs. |
| [posted in Manhattan :: New York at 04:26] |
Wednesday, June 19, 2002
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Monkey Redux
Good to see that our buddy and occasional artistic collaborator Tagmonkey has got his web site back on line. Here at 12 Apostles we are big fans of his Other People's Holidays project - go check it out for some vicarious vacation enjoyment. |
| [posted in Bow :: London at 11:53] |
Monday, June 17, 2002
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Bobby don't dig us
Whilst at last Friday's Arthur Lee + latest re-incarnation of Love gig, I spotted Primal Scream's Bobby Gillespie in the crowd, so took the opportunity to go over and acquaint him with the 12 Apostles mission and ethos. After my brief overview I offered him one of our newly-arrived and strictly limited edition red T-Shirts. With a casual shake of his famous locks he uttered a curt 'no thanks mate, I like my own shirt' and disappeared into the throng.
So in the spirit of generosity for which we hope to become legendary we offer you the opportunity to win the t-shirt that Bobby wouldn't wear. To enter simply send an email to bobbydontdigus@12-apostles.com suggesting the ideal comeback line I should have laid on him. The best answer by Friday wins. |
| [posted in Bow :: London at 22:19] |
Friday, June 14, 2002
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Holy Smoke
Here at Apostle Central we are always keen to keep abreast of the latest happenings in the exciting international world of religion and have recently come across further proof that it is indeed a broad church out there these days. Whilst other religious factions are busy carrying out unspeakable acts in the name of their various gods a few likeminded souls have come together to form Christians for Cannabis, a pressure group devoted to spreading the love of Jesus neatly packaged in a three skin wrapper.
Needless to say they seem to to be gathering plenty of support as the many guestbook comments on the site testify: "God bless you! I thought I was so alone! Pray for me, brothers and sisters, for courage to come out of the closet and witness against the cruelty and evil of the War on Drugs. --David". |
| [posted in Bow :: London at 11:35] |
Thursday, June 13, 2002
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Stop Press - Sydney Apostle Meets King of Pop
Believe it or not. Sydney Apostle encountered the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, this afternoon.
It's 4.45pm on Thursday 13 June and your apostle is to be found in HMV records Oxford street, London. Just wandering out of the store with new purchase Too Many Dj's by legalised Belgian bootleggers Soulwax. Suddenly your apostle looks up to see a crowd charging towards him and to the back of the shop.... at the front are three large bodyguard types. They surround a small figure, presuming it to be some minor British pop star your apostle thinks twice about taking a closer look but before he knows it the bodyguards are right in front of him and in the middle of the melee.... there he is.... Michael Jackson.
He looks like a frightened rabbit, and looks exactly like the pictures. Long lifeless hair, weird facial bone structure and a skin complexion neither black or white.
All we can presume at the 12 is that the stars are aware of us and want to be close, although we do hope that our disciples aren't quite as unruly. |
| [posted in Bondi :: Sydney at 16:44] |
Tuesday, June 11, 2002
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New York Correspondent For 12 Apostles
12 Apostles spreads its influence into the US as our New York correspondent signs on and promises to deliver the best, worst and simply weirdest of Gotham City's musical scene. Our Uptown man makes his inaugral mark tomorrow as he takes the Lex line downtown to catch Swedish punk-revivalists The Hives.
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| [posted in Bondi :: Sydney at 14:01] |
Sunshine Special
Summer is here and the guys at Berlin's Kitty-Yo label - home of Apostolic favourites Tarwater and Peaches - are celebrating by offering a selection of six of their favourite releases at a Sunshine Special price of only 6 Euros/Dollars each. Needless to say we shall be taking them up on their kind offer.
What are the chances of any of the major's following suit and actually offering some decent music at sensible prices? Don't hold your breath.... |
| [posted in Bow :: London at 08:16] |
Sunday, June 09, 2002
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Meronian manoeuvres
Finish heavy art trance purveyors Circle were back in town again last night supporting The Damo Suzuki Network at the Krautrock loving Kosmische club. Circle play with an intensity and verve that grips and drags you along through their churning semi-operatic slabs of big beat looping soundscape. Go check them out when they pass through your town - you won't be disappointed. Here is a bit of biog lifted from their website:
"Born in the bucolic city of Pori, Finland, Circle has been defying expectations since 1991. This unpredictable ensemble led by Jussi Lehtisalo has been reinventing, refining and perfecting its technical drones and heavy riffs over the course of numerous European, American and Japanese releases. The band effortlessly devours and personalizes skewed progressive-rock rhythms, distorted guitar firepower, cosmic sound paintings, gleaming minimalism, Kraut-influenced phrase repetition, and hymnal incantations written in a made-up language called Meronian. Circle’s instantly recognizable albums and frantic live sets have garnered ample international praise while masterfully exploring the outer limits of grinding tension and celestial calm." |
| [posted in Bow :: London at 11:28] |
Thursday, June 06, 2002
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The Royal Gig
Why are we even writing about this?
Well, Bondi Apostle was watching the concert on the TV last night and saw a historical rock'n'roll moment captured by a tuned in BBC cameraman.
Paul launched into favourite singalong Hey Jude and as the crowd in her Maj's backyard started to join in (including we add, the nation's favourite QC) the camera panned to Brian Wilson. It was as though he had been turned to stone. Suddenly the wars of the late sixties returned as though they had never gone away. It all came back to him, the populism of Paul & John's songs, how can he compete.
Well, don't worry Brian, here at the apostles we know they'll never play Good Vibrations or God Only Knows at these tacky events. But in our souls there's always space for a little bit of Brian Wilson beauty.
While we're at it, what about the PM.... singing along to All You Need is Love . Get a life matey.
Missing in action. So Solid Crew. They should have been there, if only to take some hints from the Windsors, the original nuttahs who are about as solid as it gets. Over a 100 years topping the royalty charts, the So Solid boys & girls will be gone and guess who'll still be on the throne.
Finally.. our suggestion for headliners, there's only one band: New Model Army |
| [posted in Bondi :: Sydney at 07:42] |
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